Welcome to my Instagram #content for the next six months.
Because apparently every single friend is getting married this year.
And it's all about that good, good foreskin.
No, this isn’t a joke—it’s a very big deal.
There's officially no need to be boring this season.
My mind is blown and my hair is now a shimmering curtain of silk.
Nothing says everlasting love like burrowing a gemstone in your skin.
Cheekbones so sharp, you can throw away your knives.
In the great words of the Kool-Aid man, “OH, YEAH."
Even hot boy Armie Hammer needs some under-eye love.
My actual response to Stone's outfit: "Wait, omg."
This year's red carpet was absolute perfection.
Guaranteed to make your scalp less flaky than your college roommate.
Nope, there's never been a research project more representative of our time.
"It was really rough and painful for me."
Not to put too fine of a point on it.
“Gotta love family group text.”
Every time you tell me, "It tingles, but it's fine," I die inside.
And it's seriously not as difficult as you'd think.
NOPE. Nope, nope, nope!
Tested and approved by yours truly.
"I worked on this pretty much throughout my entire pregnancy."
"I could not count the amount of wigs we use on that show if I wanted to."
This drug is literally life-changing.
We're getting strong cut-brow vibes, and we dig.
And not one of them will leave your hair feeling like straw.
Yes, that is a real sentence that we just said.
Pick your laziness level, and I'll tell you what to use.
This is the only thing we want in life now.
CAN'T STOP STARING.